I searched for you in the darkest corners,
I sought your warmth even in coldest coffers,
I longed for that ever slightest glimpse of your light,
Without ever stopping, never doubting my weak eyesight,
I made my way, through forests of fate,
I made my way to you, killing many monsters of hate
I paved the path of my righteous haste,
My struggle for you- I would never let it waste!
At last I reached a clearing in my life,
Where all could be seen, all but my strife,
I saw over there, on a hill you await,
Overseeing every step towards you I take
I climb up high, to see bask in your unbidden glory,
I sit beside your shadow, to reveal my sorry story
I look at you then, and realization dawns!
That you knew my story, as and when it was born!
You are the mirror of life, my inspiration,
You are the river of strife, my river of perspiration
I saw myself in you, my future and my past,
The light shone right through, revealing it to me,
at last!







11 Reviews. Click Here to comment:
dark but wonderful:)...its soo awesome :)..
urs..hemu..
Hmmmm
Words still lingering in ma mind :)
Very well contemplated
Thanks Hemu
:)
glad you liked it.
:)
Thanks Nan:)
Glad you liked it
:)
Interesting concept...I saw it as my reflection inspires me... I inspire me.. I need nothing outside. Inspiration is within me! :)
beautiful.. but i think you have written better.. somehow the rhythm of this one seems broken to me.
But the choice of words is really good :)
Rhyme isn't always the main thing..you don't need to go head over heels with rhyming..keep it simple,understandable and beautiful! :D..
this was a good attempt..the subject could have been better described..but anyway..waiting for more.
Hows the template for Edison?
Riversoul, I love the theme, I love a lot of the imagery. I'd love to see you edit this one and either make it hold to a form, or release it from form all together and just make it sound like water falling off your tongue when you read it out loud. Some of the rhymes sound a little cliché (life, strife). So, you've written a great poem, and now you should edit it to make it perfect. Thank you for inviting honesty in your feedback comments!
u r a dark star..! :)
Riversoul,
"The other side of the mirror". What a wonderful concept and metaphor. I just love the pic in the post. It fits the poem perfectly. You have good talent in doing this. I love metaphors in poetry as I'm sure you probably know from some of my writing. This poem seems to have some metaphors written in it.
I think this is very good..it brought a tear to my eye...as I can once again "relate" to it.
Less than 1/2 of all the poems I've written through the years and that are in my blog rhyme. I often write poetry with the words "free flowing" without rhyme and yet still coming together as a poem. Poetry doesn't always have to rhyme. If you read some of the great poets you will find this is very true. I love rhyme poems and I love poems that don't rhyme.
It's kind of nice to know that you can give a try to both kinds of poetry writing...and not feel pressured to always feel a poem must rhyme. There are some classics out there that don't.
Beautiful poem..
Blessings,
Rhi
I liked the photo in the end-it was apt:)
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