Hey There People!!
:)
The story Below is my Entry to the Ascension Short Story Contest taking place at Clarity of Night.
Would Love to have your Feedback on it
Would Love to have your Feedback on it
A Promise Kept
I rushed to the ICU ward of the Hospital as fast as my legs could carry me. It was almost daybreak. Twenty minutes ago, I had received the doctor’s call, confirming that the time had now come. That which I had been dreading; that which I had hoped would never happen; had now come to pass.
Like the dog afraid of his own shadow, I ran towards her.
The ward came to view. Like a pale ghost, I slowed down to a standstill. The door was ajar. She was looking right at me.
She seemed to be looking right through me, as though she knew of every thought and emotion tormenting my mind. She had that smile on her face; that carefree smile that even months of chemotherapy had failed to wipe out. Her smile seemed to be telling me something.
But I just couldn’t place it.
The doctor came out just then. With an apologetic voice, he said “I’m so sorry, son. She succumbed just a few minutes ago. A brave fighter. God rest her soul.”
He walked away.
Terror tore at me and my insides seemed to shrivel up.
“That means . . . . . her eyes . . . . . Oh God!”
She knew I’d come. She kept waiting for me till the very end. Tears leaked out of my eyes. But I held strong. I kept her promise. I never cried.
And I realized that she knew it.
Her smile told me that.
Here's the Link to my story at the Clarity of Night
:)






19 Reviews. Click Here to comment:
I think it very good! But it is difficult for me to comment on it because I can only really write rhymes. It sounds very original to me, good luck with the contest.
beautiful! I know you can win....best of luck...very touching and emotional story:)
you are good with your words. you help paint a true to life situation. GREAT
A good picture painted.
:-)
I sincerely hope u win
omg, my eyes are wet :( beautifully written. very emotional and touching. good goin bro.
o my my my my ...i read befor the presentation ...n i lurvd it ..waise i was xpecting to luv it ..kuchh bhi unexpected nahi tha ..so no kudos to u :P
Dude...nice one, as always...hope u win...My Best wishes
To come up with something as short as this, takes quite an effort...good
alrdy told ya dude i love this :)
u rock!!!
This is so beautiful and heartfelt Riversoul...it seemed that her soul was speaking through her eyes, even in death...the soul lives on.
Rhi
P.S. oh I forgot good luck in winning the contest..I think you have a great chance in winning..
Rhi
u will win lil bro!!! i shall bribe d judges to mk sure!! :D
hey nice one :O :D ur damn expressive through small and simple words. thats a really nice quality to have, keep it up :D
A poignant read.. one can feel the emotions while reading.. All the best for the contest.. :-)
i agree with everyone here...! :)
gave me goose bumps
beautiful! :)
write on..
Very emotive... You sure have a way with words, bub.
Bravo!
Peace.
Ohh,
THe pain... that one carries
till death, of death.
Thank you, everyone,
Your encouragements really inspire me, :)
Will keep writing
:)
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